One very popular reason why young men keep girls around is Sex. If you have heard the term ‘Friends with Benefits,’ then you should know that Sex is the Ultimate Benefit that most men hope to get from women. By the way, we think the term ‘friends with benefits’ is a terrible way by which people describe a person they are using. This is because the friend usually does not know that he or she is just there to be milked dry and discarded.
So the real question here should be: ‘aside from sex, why should he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship with me?’ Well, in this article we will break it down to you. We help you get inside his head, and discover how he thinks. From there, you can probably find out for yourself why he likes to have you around, but declines to have a real relationship with you.
Yeah, well, good sex can get a man confused. You see, a good relationship has to be based on something. Sometimes, a man may enjoy the pleasure of occasionally sleeping with a girl. Despite that pleasure, he may still feel that she is not his type. He may feel that a relationship with her may not work out, or he may feel that the obstacles between them are too great to surmount.
A girl can easily confirm this suspicion by denying him that pleasure. Just ask yourself: ‘does he want me around only for the sex?’ Then no more sex! Naturally, this should lead to the collapse of the friendship, or for him to openly come out to state his intentions. At that point you may decide to continue the friendship on purely professional terms, or to put an end to things before anyone gets hurt.
Who doesn’t want to be friends with a giving, financially supportive person? A guy could want to have you around because he benefits from you; maybe the occasional bail out when he is broke, or the occasional support you give him to settle bills. Yes, you would probably make a great team, but he has to see you as more than just a bank for that to happen. Ask yourself: ‘does he keep me around only as his bank?’ Again, to confirm this suspicion, all you have to do is close your wallet.
Tired of the Lying and
Discover the Secret.
This is a difficult one. A smart person can sometimes be a very vulnerable person indeed. As a woman, being smart can work against you in at least two ways:
- People could want you around just to take advantage of your problem solving skills, paying no heed to your emotional needs, or could pander to your emotional needs just so they can take advantage of your problem solving skills.
- People could be intimidated by your sheer brilliance. They could like you, love you even, but seeing that they just do not match you mentally, they could shy away from having something concrete with you. Personally, I fall into this second group. I have told the story before.
Unfortunately, we have no solution for this problem; being smart is not like beauty which you could hide with less or horrible make up. Can a smart person play dumb? Could any good come from that?
He is Gay
Well, that pretty much explains itself, doesn’t it? Just try to find out if he is gay. Save yourself the sweat. Some guys have been known to keep women around just to make an appearance.
He is not Ready for a Relationship
Even if you are the perfect girl for a guy, a man cannot be the perfect guy for you unless he is physically, emotionally, and mentally ready. To be honest this has very little to do with age; I know a lot of guys in their 30’s who are still not ready.
Some women have taken matters into their own hands; sat down with the men they love, and tried to make them ready by setting down goals, and working together to achieve them. This is a 50-50 chance; if things go bad, the guy could later feel that he has been trapped into marriage, and may start to behave badly towards the lady. But who says things must go bad?
He already has a Woman
Yep, been there, done that! Men sometimes keep ladies around as contingency plans, (women do this too) in case the first relationship doesn’t work. In my case I kept the lady around hoping that the first would leave. I felt choked and bullied as she nagged me to madness, but I never had the courage to quit the relationship.
For a relationship to work there has to be Love, Mutual Admiration, and freeness. Freeness means that I can be myself around you, and you can be yourself around me. I can make all the mistakes I want, and so can you. Without this, a man can see a perfect woman as a friend, but not a wife. Nobody wants to be nagged to death.